The Pottrix
by Guywithfakename
Summary: It's Harry Potter, it's the Matrix, No, it's the Pottrix!If you happen to see this, read the story. You'll feel better after it, so R&R you MUTHA FUDGERS! Anyways, rated T due to Matrixy violence, language and other stuff. 1st in a series of 3!


Hello there. I am writing another story. Yay me. Before you get to read my masterpiece, I would like to put a disclaimer. Otherwise, J.K Rowling and the Wachoski brothers would sue me for every penny I got. And I only got one penny (OH NOES!):

I don't own anything involving the rights of Harry Potter and/or the Matrix. I wrote this for fun. There, now don't sue me.

This story takes place in a general area, not meant to be based off a book. If I were to have this based on a book, I'd say "Order of the Phoenix", only no one has died….Yet ;)

So, read on.

**A REALLY Inconvenient Truth**

It was very dark in Harry's room. Of course, it would be dark since it was very late at night. In fact, it was probably morning, but Harry couldn't see his clock.

On this particular Tuesday night, Harry was in his room, working the graveyard shift. The reason for him being up this late was due to his homework. Potions, to be precise. "Professor" Snape wanted a ridiculously long essay on why you shouldn't mix manticore urine with hydra milk. Harry didn't even think it was possible for a reptile to even have milk, but the magical world still surprised him after all these years. Harry knew his life was strange enough as it was, but little did he know it was about to get much, MUCH stranger.

As his quill was scratching on the parchment, a strange sensation overcame Harry. It was as if he was suddenly frozen, and could feel a gust similar to rushing air. The sensation quickly stopped, and the feeling of warmth came back to him. He paused, cautiously trying to figure out what had just happened. Did he dare look up?

Before he could answer his question, he promptly fell on his rump. Massaging his sore butt, he looked around. His chair was gone! So was his desk. And his room. In fact, it appeared that all of Number our Privet drive seemed to have vanished into thin air. All Harry saw was a foreboding building that appeared to be abandoned. A strange force compelled him to head to the building.

He obliged it and headed inside.

After walking a short while he entered a room. Shock overcame him.

"Hermione, Ron, what are you doing here?" he asked.

The first thing Harry noticed about his friends were their clothes. Black, lots of it, with mirrored shades. Very stylish. Very stylish indeed.

"Please Harry," said Ron, "Call me 'Morpheus'."

"Morpheus. Riiiiiiiight."

Hermione seemed perturbed, "Ron, why must you insist on being called that?! 'Morpheus' isn't even your real name."

"Morpheus is my assumed name Hermione. I must be called that. Besides, it's much cooler than 'Ron'. (Geez, what a nag.)" Ro-uhhh, Morpheus retaliated.

Hermione put up an argument "Look Ron, I may have an assumed name, 'Trinity' but I don't go around acting like an ass all about it!"

"Well, you just don't know how to be cool Trinity!"

"Don't call me that! Besides, I'm plenty cool, RONALD…" Hermione sneered, with emphasis put on the last word.

"Morpheus!"

"Ronald!"

"Morpheus!"

"Ronald!"

"It's Morpheus, TRINITY…"

"Hermione!"

"Trinity!"

"Hermione!"

"Trinity!"

"Hermione!"

Hermione suddenly got an idea. An evil, impish smirk spread across her face. When she spoke, her voice was layered with sarcasm.

"How about instead of calling you RON or Morpheus, I call you, oh, I don't know, BOBO?"

Ron replied, shock of terror over his face. "I wouldn't like it…"

"Sure you wouldn't……**BOBO**!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Bobo!"

"Stop it!"

"Bobo!"

"Cut it out!"

"Aw suck it up, Bobo."

"Knock it off!"

"Whuh duh mattuh wittle Bobo, duh he nee a wittle time out? Duh he, BOBO?!"

"I'm warning you!"

"Bobo!"

"Call me that again and I'll-"

"You'll what, **BOBO**?"

Harry couldn't stand another nanosecond of this, he tried to change the subject. "GUYS! What in Marluxia's name are you guys doing in this creepy old joint anyway?!?!" he half asked, half yelled again. Silence.

Hermione got a grip and spoke first. "We're here to reveal you to the truth."

"The truth?"

"Harry," Hermione spoke gently, yet ominously "Have you ever given any thought on the world as you know it? Does it, at times, seem 'unreal'?"

"Sorry Hermione", Harry apologetically said "All I can think of is what hex I should put on Snape the next time I see him for giving me that stupid essay to do…HEY! I know, you guys can help me with my report!" With that, Harry pulled out a slip of parchment, and a quill, ready to make an essay.

"Alright…SHOOT." He said, ready to put down notes.

"Forget about the essay Harry, we've got bigger fish to fry." Hermione stated.

"Uh huh, uh huh, keep on going, this is good stuff." Harry replied, not even noticing that Hermione had told him to stop writing down everything she

says onto the paper.

"OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE!" yelled Ron-who-is-now-Morpheus, and he snatched the piece of parchment from Harry's hands. He then promptly stomped on it, tore it up into tiny pieces, and threw them into his mouth and ate them.

"Hey, that was gonna get me an 'E'!" protested Harry, who's assumed name happened to be "Neo".

"Forget about the paper Harry.", Said Hermione, who was clearly impatient.

"I was gonna pass potions with that thing, and I'd-"

"For crying out loud Harry, will you just forget about the STUPID essay for one minute?!? We desperately need to tell you something, and we're wasting time! Lives are at stake here!" Hermione blurted, cutting Harry off.

"Oh…Well, why didn't you just say so, i need to save some lives!"

-Sigh-

Ron actually started to speak for once, "We do not have much time now, I'm afraid. We'll explain later, for now, you must make a choice."

"…What sort of choice?" he asked.

"Red or blue?"

"Huh?"

"Let me explain," Ron started to explain (the author is stating the obvious here) as he opened both his fists out towards Harry, "You pick the blue Berttie Bott's Every Flavor Bean, and you wake up in your bed, and you believe whatever you want to believe. BUT, if you take the red Berttie Bott's Every Flavor Bean, I'll show how deep the rabbit hole goes…"

Harry pondered his choices for about a minute before speaking again.

"That depends, what flavors are they?"

"Well", Ron started "I know for certain that the blue one is Blue Raspberry, though I'm not too sure what the red one is. Why don't you find out for yourself?"

"Hmmm, well, I've always been partial to Blue Raspberry." And he started for the blue one when suddenly-

"HOLD IT! HOLD IT! CUT! CUT!" the director yelled, as he rushed onto the set. "What are you doing Harry, don't you remember what you're supposed to do in your script?"

"Sorry, I was busy trying to write an essay that RON ate."

"My name, for the last time, is MORPHEUS!"

"Cool it RON!" the director yelled at Ron through his megaphone. Ron immediately shut up.

"Here you go Harry, your script. Read it over at your leisure. But do hurry, we're on a tight schedule." the director said as he handed Harry a script for "The Pottrix".

Harry read over the script for about a minute. He then put the script down.

"So…" he started, ready to face the director "I have to 'eat' the red bean.?"

"Yes."

"But none of us know what flavor it is."

"So?"

"Isn't that a really big risk for me or something like that?"

"Look kid, think of it this way, 'no bean, NO PAYCHECK'. Kapeesh?"

"Fine."

"Alright then, ACTION!" With that, the scene started again.

Harry took the red bean and popped it into his mouth. Immediately, a look of pure, extreme disgust was on his teenage face. He started gagging, and retching, and spitting. All in a desperate attempt to rid his mouth of the bean's taste. He stumbled towards the trash can. He was about to blow chunks.

"Oh", Ron said "Now I remember what flavor the red one was!"

"Wh-what flavor?" Harry slowly sputtered, his mouth full with his dinner making a return trip.

"Quite frankly you don't wanna know." Said Ron, with a guilty, apologetic look on his face.

To calm himself, Harry tried to put his hand on the dusty old mirror, trying to catch his breath. But, the mirror flowed like water, and his hand went through. The glass was creeping down his arm like, like, something that creeps down arms fluidly.

"Cool! I'm turning into the Silver Surfer!" he said happily.

However, Harry saw behind the camera, that the director was holding a sign with directions on it. It said "Get freaked out. Scream, run in circles, flail your arms wildly. Just do something!"

Harry immediately obliged him by saying his last line in the scene:

"Well, this is inconvenient…" and then suddenly started screaming loudly…

Well, here's Chapter 1 of "The Pottrix". I hope you enjoyed it! Remember, please read and review. It won't kill you or get you spammed, all right? Look for another chapter coming soon! ;)


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